Thoughts on the almost-three year-old.

We've got a birthday for a special little kid coming up soon!  Birthdays are a biiiiig deal. I can remember vividly sitting on my parents couch when I was young, thinking, "I'm going to be seven soon! Six sounds so young, but seven! Seven sounds so mature!"

Besides the presents and celebration, there is that great feeling of accomplishment.  One year closer to middle school, one year closer to high school.  One year until I can drive.  One year until I go to college!  For someone who longed for independence as a kid, counting days until another birthday was a religious experience.

But the question is open: how will Francisco see his birthday when he's older?

I know right now it's a big deal to him.  We're planning a birthday party at the community pool in my parents' neighborhood.  There'll be food and cake, swimming and fun.  Don't let him know this, but there'll be a piñata, too.  He's had two birthday parties with us, and has been to a few more, so he has a good idea about the fun birthdays can be.

Right now, he's excited.  "When's your birthday, Cisco?" I ask.  "My birthday's in Nobemburrrr!" he'll purr.

But, what will the day look like when he's older?

We know that birthdays for adopted kids in general can be a mixed bag of emotions.   But it means a couple of things to me.

This is one very important day in Cisco's life that we missed.

A very wonderful woman, who we've never met, was there. She saw Cisco during his first moments on Earth.  What was he like when he was born?  What did his first cry sound like?  Was he willing to come out, or did it take some time?

What was it like for her to know that this child she gave birth to wouldn't be with her for much longer?  

What feelings does she have now on November 25th? 

When will it occur to Cisco that there was someone with him for so long, well-before he was born, who left his life shortly thereafter?

In adoption circles, this break in family is referred to as the 'Primal Wound'.  As more and more data is presented to the Universe about the cognitive abilities of infants, one thing is clear: kids have not been getting enough credit for how well their minds work.   Studies after studies show that memories are created at a very young age.  And the bond between mother and child is formed very young, often before birth.

So, he had this bond with this woman, and then that bond was broken.  

This early broken bond impacts the rest a child's life.  How will it affect him?  How will he see the world through the lens of adoption?

This morning, Cisco asked me, "Was I in your tummy or Mama's tummy?"  We have conversations about adoption and pregnancy from time to time. Cisco's Aunt and Uncle recently had his baby cousin, so the idea of pregnancy isn't new to him.

"No, honey, you were in another lady's tummy.  She didn't have the means to take care of a baby.  But Mama and Papa couldn't have a baby, so we wanted to adopt you. It seemed like a great match!"

These are the starter conversations we have.  We show pictures of our times together in Bogotá.  We talk about the other kids in our Early Childhood Family Education class who have similar stories.  We can only hope we give him the details to help him tell his own story, even if it's just to himself.  Somethings we know, some we don't, some we can make an educated guess.  Being an adoptive parent isn't just about parenting.  We lay down a firm foundation, so he can find his footing.  To us, it's about helping our son have the tools he needs on his journey.  He'll be discovering his identity his entire life, being the adoptive Latino child of Caucasian parents living in a Midwestern American city.  It isn't to say that all kids don't do this; it's just a bit more complicated in adoptive families' cases.

We feel very lucky that we have as clear a picture of his family as we do, because many children have very little.  There are so many answers to basic questions that we'll be able to answer.  But each piece is a reminder that we see a very small window into the day he was born.

So, it's a mixed bag for all of us.  

Congratulations! You’re an adoption ambassador!

I woke up this morning to this story:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/judge-orders-adopted-baby-returned-soldier-dad/story?id=17877671#.UL9ZDuTO1gw

I am heart-broken for both the biological father and the adoptive parents.  This is the disaster-type scenario that keeps me up at night – and I’m sure other adoptive parents as well – that someone lied or manipulated information during an adoption and shut out a family member who would have been willing to be the parent of a child.

The facts in this matter are unclear.  I’ve looked at a few articles, and from what I can tell, the biological mother of the little girl in question gave birth in Utah because of loose adoption laws.  She lied about the address of the biological father – her estranged husband – to keep the decision from him.  She lied about his involvement with the child to the agency, saying he wanted no part in their child’s life.  The biological father attempted to dispute the pregnancy, but the agency in question didn’t follow up, either due to mismanagement or willful misconduct.  The adoptive family, most likely in an attempt to connect their child to her biological family, contacted the biological father, who at that time – three months after the adoption was finalized – alerted them that he would be contesting the adoption.

I am so glad I don’t have to make the final decision here.  What a burden that will dramatically and traumatically affect two families.

I scanned through the articles online and checked out the comments.  They didn’t surprise me, but they may surprise others.  The main theme was this: the adoptive parents are at fault.  They should have known better and should have returned the child as soon as the problem was discovered.

People seem to have a romantic, fairy-tale version of adoption in their minds, and when real life doesn’t pan out as they have imagined it to be, the adoptive parents go from story-hero to story-villain.  Should the adoptive parents have known better?  I don’t know.  I wasn’t there.  But I imagine not.

We aren’t given a complete history of our child’s life, even in situations where the adoptive parents are present at the child’s birth.  Angie and I were given about a half of a ream of paper about our son, but it certainly wasn’t complete.  The adoptive mother gave a story that we believe, but is it the full story?  All we have to trust is her word, and the word of the government and court system in Colombia. Of course, we believe his back-story, but we’ve heard enough stories from other adoptive families to know it is incomplete at best.

The adoptive parents were told the biological father wanted no part in their child’s life and hadn’t formally contested the adoption.  On their own, they still attempted to make contact to finalize the process in their own minds.  They took an additional step that was not required, and now are being villainized for it.

Here’s where it gets tough for me – the question of if they should have returned the child immediately when the problem was discovered?  I HATE this question. Of course, the biological father was wronged by the system.  But the parents? How do you just give up your child?

There seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding of adoption in the world today.  When we adopt, we aren’t buying a car, or a stereo.  Our child isn’t a product we’ve purchased. Nothing like it, in fact.  Ready for the surprise? Adoptive parents love their children.  REALLY! Just as much as parents love their biological children! In fact, there have been surveys of families, similar to the Freis, about the love they feel for their biological versus their adoptive children.  Each family reports that they love their adoptive children just as much as their biological children.  The reason is pretty simple: love has nothing to do with a biological connection.  It certainly helps form the bond in the early stages, but time spent together, fulfilling each other’s needs? That forms the bond.

So it surprises me when someone can’t understand why a parent wouldn’t just give the child back after three months. Would you expect the same of a biological parent?  And, why not?  I challenge you to think about this if you haven’t already.  There is a bond between the Freis and their daughter.   They changed her diapers and fed her.  They bought her things and played with her. They kissed her boo-boos and tucked her in at night.  They watched her get her first teeth, and watched her take her first steps.  They are the only parents she’s ever known.  She has a routine, she has friends, and she has siblings.

But it is so simple for others not ‘in-the-know’ to blame the adoptive parents. “They won’t give the biological father back his property!”  It’s just not that easy.

So again, I’m glad I don't have to make the decision the judge was forced to.  I don’t want to be in his  shoes.  If I were in Mr. Frei’s shoes?  I would fight for my daughter.  The three months that they spent with her before they knew there was a problem may not seem much to you, but it is a lifetime when you are raising your child.

I don’t want to linger on a negative situation, but I want to make positive change in my circle because of it.  So:  here’s my task for you.  You are now an ambassador for adoptive families.  Congratulations!

Here are your talking points:

1) Adoptive families are real families. 

2) Adoptive parents are real parents.

3) Adoptive children are real children.

4) Biological families and biological parents shouldn’t be referred to as ‘real’ parents or ‘real’ families.  They may be a part of an adoptive child’s life, or they may not.

5) Adoptive parents love their children, just like biological parents love biological children. No more, no less.

6) Adoptive parents are given limited information, and have no choice but to trust court documents and their agencies.

7) Sensationalized stories are just that: sensationalized.  There is a lot of back-story.  There are many wronged parties, and the adoptive parents are one of them.

This is just a short list, so expect more homework later!  Thank you for taking on your new role; it is a pleasure to work with you!

Adios, Colombia

This will be my last post on this leg of our journey - I head back to Minnesota tomorrow, leaving my wife and baby behind.

We had a great day. More pictures that Angie will upload. We toured the Monserrate, a church on a peak overlooking Bogota. It was a great view, once the clouds parted. Bogota is huge.

Afterwards, we had plans on visiting the Gold Museum, and our taxi driver, Luis Alberto brought us there. Unfortunately, it was closed. Instead, we visited La Candelara (?), the old part of the city, that is being restored. Lots of lovely old buildings and churches. Luis Alberto was a great tour guide; he spoke in simple spanish, and threw in a lot of the english he knew so even I could understand what was going on.

We came back and grabbed some food with the other family staying here while Francisco slept in our room - he's been asleep for several hours, but that surely will end soon!

Good night all, thanks for reading.

Here's a little story

Last night, Angie and I met up with one of my very good friends from high school, Sally. She's been living in the Bogota area for about 2 years. She met and fell in love with a really sweet Bogotano named with Camilo. We went out with them and their friends for a few drinks and a burger, and stayed out way later than parents should. We had a blast. Sally always seems to find the sweetest people wherever she lives. She also found people proficient with English, so Ang and I had no concerns with communication.

When we got home, Francisco pitched a fit. I found out later that he was the perfect angel while we were gone, but got really angry at us for leaving him. He let us know most of the night that we need to be by his side 24/7. In combination with some roadwork being done on our block in the middle of the night, we have had very little sleep again, which is becoming very familiar.

Today Angie, the other family staying here, and I traveled with one of our respected cabbies, Jorge Rico, to a coffee plantation in a town called Fusagusaga. I think. He gave us an incredible tour of the process of making coffee, and some botany lessons of a few of the local species of orchids, bromeliads, and other assorted plants. It was really a neat experience - he knows his stuff. I'll post some pictures later.

We stopped a long the way at a lunch counter and sampled some local soul-food. It was amazing and cheap - the nice thing about traveling with Jorge-you get a tour guide who wants to show you actual parts of Colombia.

One thing he focused on was some of the ecological troubles facing Colombia. There have been several initiatives put forward, like planting trees and adding sewer treatment plants, but they have a long way to go. His main pet peeve was the ecalyptus tree; apparently, years ago it had escaped from gardens, and has been choking out a lot of old rainforests. He should us the difference between native forests and new ecalyptus forests. It's quite sad to see their native habitat disappearing.

I know a lot of people call this tree-hugging, but I'm of the opinion that God made this Earth a certain way, and gave us dominion. Our choice as His children is to decide what kind of ruler we will be to His gift to us. Do we act like dicators, or as loving as He has been to us?

Our first photos of Francisco, for comparison

Update

Just a quick post to let everyone know how things are going here in Bogota. We continue to explore our host city so we have some stories to share with Francisco when he gets older. The other family from Minnesota invited the folks from Betty's Place to go to a park a few blocks from the shopping mall on Tuesday. The park was pretty amazing - it apparently had once been a polo arena, but had since been repurposed. It was large enough for two soccer fields. There were also some playground structures put up for all the kids to play on. I ended up playing 500 with a few of the boys - felt good to toss around a pig skin.

We were supposed to go see our lawyer and the Defensor of Francisco on Tuesday, but the meeting was cancelled and rescheduled to Thursday. This was a bit of a bummer, since we couldn't get rolling on the court system until this meeting happened.

On Wednesday, Angie and I decided to go out for a little celebratory dinner. Our wonderful caregiver, Marie Elena, took care of Francisco for the evening. We went to a restaurant called Carbon de Palo, which had some wonderful food at reasonable prices. Angie had a shish kebab type dinner made of different sausages. I had a mixed plate of ribs, a steak, and chicken. We had some empanadas and platanos for appetizers. With drinks, it ended up only being about $55 or so.

We stopped by a gift store called Maku on the way there - it had some local trinkets to purchase. We've wanted to get items to pass on to Francisco in the future - little things to help him stay connected to Colombia. This store had just about everything. When we got home, a taxi driver visited us as well and sold us some beaded wrist bracelets his brother had made - they are neat little things with both the Colombian and American flags.

We finally had our meeting with the lawyer on yesterday. It was a short meeting, asking us a few questions about how things were going getting to know Francisco and our feelings about him. To this question, both Angie and I wanted to say that we love him. Unfortunately, we both ended up telling the Defensor that we love him. We all had a good laugh.

We've set up a tour of a coffee plantation for Saturday - more details and pictures to come!

Video-a-go-go

First meeting video:



Hangin' with Mom



Momma kisses:



Holding a bottle

I'm checkin' in

Another semi-sleepless night.  I'm glad, though, that Francisco is getting more and more comfortable with us.  Angie and he went down around 8pm and he woke up around 10pm for a bottle.  It was really a 'bloody murder'-type scream.  I could still hear him in the kitchen while making his bottle.  As soon as he had about 4 or 5 ounces, he fell back asleep.  He got restless around 2 am, so off to the kitchen I went.  After he had his bottle, neither he or I could go back to sleep, so we just kind of stared at each other.  He didn't fuss; just rolled back and forth, looking for the comfortable spot on the bed.  Just like me.  I hope he doesn't get 'blessed' with my insomnia.

He got tired right before breakfast, and went back to sleep - still sleeping now, going on hour number 3.

We've been laughing that we are in a really neat city with a lot of wonderful tourist attractions, but we might as well be in Minnesota.  We get out a little bit here and there, but we mostly have been taking the time getting to know the wee one.  He's pretty fun.  The other night, he held his bottle as he sucked on the last little bit of formula.  So neat to see him try to take charge in his feeding.  The same night, as Angie was rocking him to sleep, he decided to show some affection back to mom by sucking on her face.  It's really cute to give him kisses, because he hasn't quite grasped the concept.  He opens his mouth, and out comes a three-foot long tongue.  You have to be careful, or he'll get ya!

Yesterday we went to a baby-shop in the area.  We had heard about it from the other family that lives at Betty's Place.  It was really neat to be in a baby store with a baby, but I was a little disappointed that it seemed very commercialized - not a lot of local stuff, just things you could get at Babies R Us and Toys R Us.

I hope we have more to report later on!

This Colombian Life

Well, it's been a quiet couple of days in Lago Woebegon.  Not a lot to report.  We continue to have a lot of fun getting to know our Colombian angel.  We bid adios to the family that had been living in Betty's Place with us - they flew back to Virginia this morning.  It's funny how quickly people can become such an integral part of your life.  However, we have been getting to know a new family from Texas.  They moved in a few days ago, and are in the process of adopting a 16 year-old.  She is really special, and loves Francisco.  Francisco seems to be taking a shining to her as well.

It's really neat to get to know people from all over the world and hear their adoption stories.  The key theme running through every story is this: not only are we adopting Francisco, but we are adopting Colombia as well.  Colombia will always be our son's first home, and consequently our home as well.  Even though we are late to the game, we are Colombian.

There's a little something I've wanted to get off of my chest, and it's taken me a few months to figure out how.  Not really sure if I still do, but here it goes:  I don't want people to feel like we are doing Francisco a favor.

A year or so ago, a co-worker mentioned how wonderful it is that we are choosing to adopt, giving a home to an orphan.  This same theme has been repeated by many people.  It's a great sentiment, and I appreciate the words.  But it is definitely not why we are adopting.

We heard this theme from adoption professionals prior to pursuing adoption as the means to form our family.  We were cautioned to take it too seriously.  A child who hears what a great thing it was that their parents adopted them feels like they always have something to owe to their parents.  They feel like the can never repay them, and can never live up to their adoption.  They may feel that if they aren't perfect, their parents may send them back to their birth country, away from those they love.  Or they may resent their parents for acting like saviors by taking them away from their original home.

Francisco could have been adopted by anyone. He's a healthy, fun little guy, and would have been a wonderful addition to any home.  We are the lucky ones.  We are the ones who've been blessed by his presence in our lives.

Additionally, Colombia isn't that bad.  It has its problems with crime and government, but what country doesn't?  The people here are wonderful.  Very loving and caring.

We aren't taking him out of Colombia when we leave.  Rather, we are bringing part of Colombia to the US.  We will raise and provide for his security when he is young, but he - like any other child - is not our property.  He will get to decide when he is older how he wants to be involved with both his birth country and his adoptive country.  Indeed, he will continue to have citizenship in Colombia.  Our job will be to give him enough access to both cultures so he can find his place in this world. It won't be an easy job for him, but we will be there helping hold his hand if he stumbles along the way.

So if you tell me it is a wonderful that I've done for him, I may not correct you.  I will thank you, and tell you we believe he has done more for us than we for him.  He helped complete our family.  But know that adoption is not a one-time event; this will be a defining moment in Francisco's life, and every situation that he faces will be seen through the adoption lens.  Like I said, it won't be easy for him to discover who he is, but we hope to offer him enough opportunity to do so, through books, food, culture camps, and eventually, return trips to Colombia.

This blogpost brought to you by Google

As I write to you on the blogging website sponsored by Google, I have to say, I am really glad that Google brings many great Google products into our home, both in Minnesota and abroad!

A few days ago, we spoke over the internets to a couple from Minnesota who are also staying in Bogota.  They are in the process of adopting a beautiful 3 year-old girl with special needs.  When the Gerri, the mother, called us, she gave us a Google-phone number.  Both of us were confused as to what a 'Google-phone number' was, but I remembered I'd seen a 'call telephone' feature on Gmail (brought to you by Google) as a chat option, so I tried it out.  I was surprised how great the reception was, and that it was free.  So, I immediately started dialing random US phone numbers to share the news of the day.  What a blessing.

Today, I needed to share some news with the caretakers at Betty's Place that the couple from Minnesota would be coming for dinner, so a few extra spots would be needed at the table.  It turns out that 'a few' was a gross exaggeration, but that's besides the point!  Anyway, I pulled up Google Translate, typed out what I needed to explain and a few answers, and they understood exactly.  Google Translate came in handy a few minutes ago as well when the mirror fell off the wall in our bathroom and I had to explain to Maria Elena that I needed a screwdriver.  Seriously, who has the Spanish word for screwdriver handy in their mind?

Now, back to our regularly scheduled blog.  Today was a good day, despite having little sleep leading into it.  Francisco was only interested in being held upright all night long, so we ended up taking shifts with him.  Again, we are a team in parenting.  We're a little clunky at it, but the rules are starting to set in.  We rested most of the morning with Francisco, until his smiles started showing up again in the afternoon.  We took a walk around the town for a bit, enjoying the cool weather and the warm sun.  It was a great day.

As I had mentioned, we had invited the couple from Minnesota to come eat with us.  What we didn't realize is that their whole family was here as well! They have three other children in addition to their recent addition, so the house was full of children!  We've also had another family move into Betty's Place, so our quiet seven person meals had more than doubled in size for the night.  What a great evening.  We have made some great contacts for Angie to rely on when I leave at the end of May, which really is starting to set my mind at ease.

P.S.  Google. Google Google Google.

Day 2

Day two was not without it's ups and downs!  The day started with me frantically trying to find the satchel I keep our passports in.  I noticed right away that it wasn't in my pants-pocket where I was sure I'd left it.  After tearing apart our room and cursing myself, I let Angie in on the disaster.  In about 5 minutes she had found the secret hiding place I had stashed it so I wouldn't lose it. Which I did.  Just a reminder to myself that we are a team, and together we are raising this child.

We had our first outing!  The other family at Betty's Place invited us to a restaurant at the shopping center in town.  We had a lot of fun, but it was the first really sunny day in Bogota, and we had prepared the kiddo for a cold day.  Over prepared.  We needed to strip him down of a few layers when we got to the restaurant.   But Francisco was a trooper and didn't complain in the least.

Until later.  He got a bit clingy and has cried off and on, wanting to be held most of the day.  We are more than willing to oblige.  He had been on the verge of a breakdown when dad did the mean thing and tried to put some clothes on him.  Nuclear winter!

The worst was our first attempt at a bath, which he was not in the mood for.  He fought a lot during the 5 min we were in there, and ended up leaning forward and bopping his head on the side of the basin.  It took about a half an hour for him to calm down.

We're now tag-teaming him to get him to go down.  He'll fall asleep in our arms, but has no desire to lie down on the bed or the carrier.  I'm not sure if he's testing us, or worried about losing us, or if it's just something else.  But we're not leaving his side.

P.S.  I apologize for any spelling errors.  I somehow got the spanish version of blogger, and am too tired to figure it out!

Reflections on day 1

They say it takes a few weeks for parenthood to set in during adoption, but I don't buy it a second.  At least not in our case.  We are warned that often parents find that only after weeks of parenting do they feel that 'this is their child.'  It's very common during the attachment process for both sides to not feel completely attached for quite some time.  But I see Francisco's smile of recognition when I walk into the room.  He knows us both.  He is comfortable.  He squeals in delight when we tickle his sides or eat his toes.  Seriously, he tried for 10 minutes to show me his foot under his sock so I could kiss his digits.

Each of these moments between poppa and momma and baby make the transition to family easier.  They help seal the bond.  He is a willing contributor to the process.  He knows what we are trying to do, and helps out.

Te amo, mi hijo.

Gotcha!

After months of waiting, the big day is finally here!  We got up early in the morning, put on our Sunday-Best and headed down to breakfast.  Marelena, one of the many caretakers here got breakfast ready for us.  We were joined by our new friends from Virginia; John and Nancy, and their kids, Louis and Viktor.

Luz Clara, our representative here met us for breakfast to take us over to Los Pisingos.  She is amazing.  She had to tell us about a hundred times that whatever we want, she will meet that need.  She cares about all the kids and the families of Los Pisingos.  She is knowledgable about the whole process, and has only been in her job since January!

We met Carlos, the director of Los Pisingos and one of his assistants.  They told us through a little bit about Los Pisingos, while someone got Francisco ready.  And then we got to meet him.

He greeted us with huge smiles.  He is such a happy baby.  So much love already.

We hung out with him for a while until the doctor arrived.  She wanted to give us an update and some historical information on his medical file.  Everyone was really concerned about some mosquito bites - they don't realize he's headed to the mosquito capital of the world!

We fed him in front of the caregivers - he gobbled down most of his bottle in a few seconds.  Then we were off!

Luz Clara and Reinel brought us back to Betty's Place with our guy.  Luz Clara took me to the market to buy a few things, and then we were back to feed Francisco.  His morning meal - papayas! Seriously, I was a bit jealous.

The first feeding was messy! I held him and became a wash cloth.

We played a bit after food, and then he was down for the count.  That's all for now.

Bogota, day one

We arrived at our guesthouse late on Saturday evening after a day full of travel. Our taxi driver was Reinel, a very smiley and patient man.  Angie and I fumbled through a conversation with him, and he seemed to get most of it.

We met a nice couple at our guesthouse from Virginia.  They had adopted four children eleven years ago.  Since Betty, the owner of the hotel was not there, we were able to ask a few questions about the layout of the town and how to use the wi-fi before we crashed for the night.

This morning, we slowly made our way downstairs, not entirely rested. It is difficult to make up for weeks of not sleeping well in one fell swoop.  The couple and two of their sons greet us and we joined them for breakfast.  We had a wonderful meal of pineapple, bread, cheese, eggs and coffee.  I am now spoiled - I don't know if I'll be able to eat store-bought pineapple ever again.

After breakfast, Angie and I went for a short walk.  There seemed to be some sort of festival going on - some of the streets had been shut down, and thousands of people were riding bikes in them, or running/walking with their dogs.  The air is fresh and cool.  We are so close to the equator, but the temperature is comfortable. You can definitely tell we are at a higher elevation - we both started to get light-headed after about a half an hour. 

We stopped at the super-market on the way home to pick up a few essentials, and then headed back home.  As Angie drifted off to sleep, Luz Clara, our contact in Colombia stopped by to explain how tomorrow will work and to say, 'hello.'

Tomorrow, meaning the day we meet our son.  It's been a long time since we first heard of him - 2/23/11. And it seems even longer still since we accepted the referral -4/1/11.  But the long wait is coming to an end - Gotcha Day - 5/16/11

Adoption

Life is so amazing. It throws you many hoops, but when you choose to you remain undefeated...and can do anything. Charlie and I are becoming parents. A little boy awaits us in Colombia as many of you know. He is so beautiful and I already love him...

Repeating life all-over-again.

Hear we go again.

Hard to believe, but it has almost been a year since our home study.  Our social worker contacted us a few weeks ago to set up another home visit.  A lot has changed in our home since that time, and we haven't cleaned up much from it, so we will be spending nights and weekends rearranging furniture and painting and cleaning to get ready for her to come out to Chateau Lafond early in December.

I really feel like I've been living in a trance.  Time has flown by very quickly.

Since our social worker came out last time, the biggest shift in our home has been our room.  We had been in a smaller room, and our plan was our child would live in our master bedroom.  At some point, the dogs revolted against this plan.  We had had them sleeping in a bedroom on the main floor of our home, with us living on the second floor.  Beginning a month after they moved down there, they started waking me up in the middle of the night to go our, and wouldn't be sated until they were allowed into our bedroom to sleep the rest of the night.

Our small room, already packed with 2 humans and a lot furniture, was bursting at the seams.

So, we made plans to remodel the master room so we could fit everything and 2 dogs.  After a lot of paint, sanding floors, and staining, our oasis has been completed.  We really like how it turned out.  And a big plus is that our room faces east, and we get a lot of morning sun.

The major draw back is that I injured my back with the sander, and it has bugged me off and on since then.  Not fun.

I've deliberately resisted posting anything for the past few months because I knew it would be mostly full of complaining.  After the high of completing our homestudy came the joy of completing paperwork.  Now, don't get me wrong, I like doing paperwork - when I'm in control.  But a lot of what we needed to do involved sending a document into one government agency, and getting it back from another.  The worst was the FBI - they required 13 weeks to complete our fingerprinting.  From what I understand, the FBI is pretty busy - I know from watching the crime drama, Bones - but still.  One quarter of the year?  To find out we're squeeky clean?  It was really maddening to wait.

The good news is, as of Friday the 30th of July, our Dossier was on it's way to Colombia.  Good luck, little paperwork.  Now we wait for a child to be identified.  Timeline - 3 to 24 months.

Fly-by-night Weekend!

I have been waiting ever-so-not-patiently for the next step in the process to begin. Ever since we got the call from our primary social worker that the game was about to change, I feel like I've been at the starting blocks, waiting to take off racing, but no one can seem to find ammunition for the starting pistol.

Notice that I said 'primary social worker.' I got a call from another nice lady at Children's who is also our social worker. From what I gather, she oversees yet another social worker who will help us prepare our dossier for Colombia. So much for corporate structure! Or, we have confounded Children's so much that they require three social workers to keep up with us.

I have no idea who's who at this point. Just give us a map, folks, and we'll get at it.

She did give a bit of hope about the various processes - social worker #2, that is. We will be handed our child almost immediately when we get to Bogota. Then, 1 week later, we will meet with a social worker from the orphanage who will evaluate the bonding process. She said it generally takes the courts a week to review our file and confirm we are okay to adopt. However, she confirmed we will be there for 6 weeks, so I don't have my mind completely wrapped around the process.

So, we busy ourselves. This weekend was no exception. Friday started out with a dinner party with some very good friends. Sarah, the best man at my wedding, had suggested a good way to force ourselves to all get together would be to do some common good. We have formed a group under the organization Kiva, which provides small business loans in poor and underdeveloped nations. We will all pitch in a few bucks so that a baker in Afghanistan or a tailor in Uganda can start their business. They will pay back their loan, and we will reinvest in another person's business. I have heard the idea before, but kudos go out to Sarah for getting us to action.

So, there was good works, but there was also food, wine and beer: The breakfast of Chumpions. A fun time was had by all. The only problem - Joe ate all my tapioca! Kidding. I'm glad the dessert I brought was well received!

Saturday started out a bit more laid-back. I caught up on some laundry. Angie did some cleaning around the house. Our front windows tend to take a beating, because our beautiful cattle-dog tends to snarf on them as he stares longingly outside, looking to run free.

I had a piece up at the mosaic shop that I was looking to finish. I popped up there around 2pm, and made the rounds to look at other peoples work. It's part of the unwritten code of the studio that you must compliment everyone before you start working - plus, it's a good way to get a few ideas for new projects.

My project was another colored-glass type piece. My only disappointment with my last piece is that it looks a little dark. I wanted the next piece to be back-lit. My idea was to put the piece on a shadow box and wire a light behind it. So, I grouted the piece at the studio, and brought it back to my garage workshop. I had an old table leaf that I had saved from the scrap-heap that I chopped up to make the box. The light wired in easily - I had picked up a 'Make your own lamp' kit from Menards. A couple of screws one quick Snap, and it was all together. Check out the finished product below:

The photo doesn't really do it justice - thank you, cell phone camera.  But I am really happy with how it turned out.  I think I will try to do another soon.
 
Sunday was a day that I was first worried about, but it turned out very well.  We've never had a real dinner party over at our house - so I got a bit nervous.   But I've always wanted to show off a few dishes I had up my sleeves, so I warmed up to the idea.  I whipped out a basil-marinara sauce I'd played around with over the summer, and let it simmer for a few hours.  I had been experimenting with a stuffing for chicken - onions and celery, with apple for a bit of sweetness, and cranberries for a bit of tartness, with some sage thrown in for good measure.  A LOT of sage.  At the last minute, I decided the only thing it was lacking was walnuts.
 
The last dish is the eye-popper - celery-root casserole.  What is celery root?  This:

Ugly.  And tasty, when shredded and boiled in whipping cream, and baked with lots 'o parmesian cheese!
 
Suprisingly, all the dishes were finished at the same time, a few minutes after everyone arrived.  My favorite comment was from my father-in-law: 'That was some stuffing.  Really nouveau."

Worn out!

Wow, with all the blogging we're doing lately, I'm getting worn out! Heh!

meh.

I really am going to try to do this more, if anything, just to keep a good record on where we've been and where we are going.

Recap: In the beginning of January, we were confident we were headed to Ethiopia to round up our future kiddo. It seemed like a go. We bunkered down expecting a 2 year wait, which would give us some time to wrap up some last-minute projects. Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago now.

As I've alluded to before, while we we're meeting with our social worker, she mentioned the possibility of Colombia for a quicker solution to adopt. She mentioned that the wait could be anywhere from 4 months to 24 months. So, it would either be quicker or just as long. Seemed like a good angle, and we asked her to pursue it for us. The only catch would be we would need to be open to African-Colombian children - which, seriously, why would we be against that? But, apparently people are. The other side catch is that we have started to form a group of friends who are pursuing Ethiopia. So, our support group of adoptive families has shrunk to null. C’est la vie. She shipped us via the internets a packet o’ paperwork and we started getting truckin’ on it.

This past Friday, I got a call at work from our social worker. She's really neat, and was full of energy for making a 'Let's change the game again!!' call right against the weekend. She had news that another orphanage in Colombia was begging Children’s for adoptive families, and she wondered if we would consider the option. The orphanage is known for placing younger children, so it is likely that we could get an infant quickly. The catches? It would cost about $2500 more. Seriously, after all we paid so far, not a big deal. We would also be guaranteed a six-week stay inside Colombia waiting for the adoption to be finalized. Which we expected anyway. Oh, and catch number 3? Stop all paperwork, ‘cause we’re sending you a different packet to start filling out.

So that’s where we’re at. I sent a confirmation email to our social worker, which she forwarded on as: "Meyerson/Peterson-Meyerson is a go for (insert orphanage name here)!"

In the mean time, we’ve started attending a monthly support group for families in the ‘waiting’ category. We felt like fish out of the water attending, because most people had their plans set, and we have had our plans put through the blender. One woman had just received notice that she was referred a child from Ethiopia – she had been waiting 44 months. Yikes. She was single, so it was likely that we wouldn’t have had to wait that long, but still. Another woman (again, single) was in the final stage of adopting from Kazakhstan. Stop thinking about Borat.

So in the mean time, we are starting to plan adventures to keep our minds off of the business. We have a vacation scheduled over Ang’s spring break to beautiful Bonaire, so we can get the last bit of scuba diving in before parenthood sets in.

And I went for my first Ice Fishing Tournament in what should be known as downtown Brainerd during winter: Gull Lake!

The fishing tournament is an annual event for my brother-in-law. He and a couple of buddies do it every year. He’d asked me to go last year, but some fertility junk came up and I couldn’t go… boy does that sentence look bad now that I’ve written it, but I think I’ll leave it as it is. I was lucky to not go last year, because downtown Brainerd had a high temperature of -35 degrees during the tournament.

I was happy to note that the temp was a balmy 25 degrees this year when we got rolling on tournament morning, but happiness melted during the day thanks to the addition of freezing rain that lasted for 3 hours, followed by the equally buzz-killing weather called ‘blinding sleet.’ The weather was not fun. At the beginning of the event, before the ‘soaking to the bone’ set in, I asked my compatriots if they would rather have -35 degrees, or freezing rain, to which they all shouted, ‘RAIN!’ I polled them again a few hours in to the event. The most memorable response was, “This. Is. Miserable.”

Truer words were never spoken.

I had received as a gift some pocket warmers that really helped keep my hands warm for a while. They stop functioning when they get filled with water. I know this, because they stopped working.

There was one fish caught in the 50 yards surrounding our fishing holes, and it was a half pound perch, caught by my brother-in-law. Good on him. The winner of the event was a man who nabbed a 6 and a quarter pound walleye. It was a beast!

The highlight of the event for me was tracking down the food booths. I knew I was in heaven when I found a little bit of ambrosia: cheese curds fried with slices of jalapenos. That warmed me up for about an hour.

The insult of the weather added to injury as we were leaving. They had bused us in from several points surrounding Gull Lake, and we were supposed to exit at the same place we entered. The problem being that everyone apparently chose to park at the same park ‘n ride we did, but the event organizers failed to recognize this population explosion. So, we sat in line trying to get off the ice for 2 hours, while other lines empty much more quickly. Oh, and for kicks, it started raining again. At some point as we reached the exit, they had fixed the problem and added a few more busses, but our moods had soured beyond repair. I don’t think the Brainerd International Fishing Tournament is in my future again.

Other than that, Angie got me interested in a bit of art she was doing - mosaic.  We have a mosiac shop down the road from us. It's fun and easy to do, and a good release. If you are in the area of Snelling in Midway, check out 'Mosaic on a stick!"  Here's my piece.  I grouted the left side, so it looks a little different now.

 

24-Hour Rule

I sat this morning listening to a podcast of a news report from Haiti and the aftermath of the earthquake. There were stories of sadness and survival, the wailing of family members as they mourn their loved ones, the pleading of others as they beg the buried to hold on. It was just too much. I broke down in tears of frustration, sadness and empathy. For a country that has so little, they been given so much sorrow. I gave money to UNICEF a few days ago, but it seems so little. The burden the Haitian people have will be difficult to recover from even with the generosity of magnanimous people throughout the world.

It sickens me that there are people in this world using this tragedy to score political points against the President of the United States while Haitians are desperately struggling to unearth their loved ones. Glenn Beck stated that he believed the President was moving too quickly to give aid in comparison to how slow Beck perceived the President had moved on an Afghanistan War strategy. Rush Limbaugh mused that the only reason the President was providing aid was to gain favor with African Americans. He even discouraged listeners from giving money to efforts to help the Haitians because, he said, we give enough through tax dollars already.

These people are sociopaths. There were people struggling to survive, praying for a fast death and there were bodies yet to be exhumed from their tragic graves, and Beck and Limbaugh disgustingly accused the President of political posturing and mismanaging priorities. They should be ashamed of themselves, but as they have no hearts, they are not capable of such emotions.

Pray for the people of Haiti.  Pray for the children who are waiting to be adopted.  Pray for the families of the dead and dying.  Pray for relief from the suffering.

And for God's sake, pray for Limbaugh and Beck to shut the hell up.