Post #2 - 6 months later

Well, 6 months have brought many changes to our thoughts about our process to become parents. We got the news around the time of my last post that we would not be able to have biological children. I won't lie, it was hard to hear, but part of me knew that was going to be the answer after not being able to conceive for so long. While being very sad, I think it was the kick in the pants to start down another road.

As kicks in the pants go, it didn't take long to get another hiccup. My wife had been diagnosed with 4th stage endometriosis last summer. We had played around the endo for a long time, hoping Angie could conceive to 'reset' her system. This seems to be the proscribed method - if you can't conceive because you have Endo, you need to try to conceive. Huh? The cure actually is the impossibility. After going through the heartbreak (not strong enough of a word) of two failed IVFs, Angie heard of Dr. Charles Haislett. Dr. Haislett specialty was excising endo, and he recommended we get it done right away.

The surgery was set for 1 month following our pre-adoption classes at Children's Family Home Society. The way the doc had described it was that it would be a quick surgery, and she would go home that day. Both of us had had outpatient surgeries last summer to clear up infertility issues- Angie was supposed to be 'lasered' (one way of removing endo) and I had a varicocelectomy. Look it up. Obviously, none of this worked at the time.

The big day arrived - late April. Angie got sent to pre-op, and I was allowed to follow in about a half an hour later. As we sat and joked, the doctor finally arrived. He was hurried, because the anesthetist was late. He mentioned as we talked that Angie would be staying for three, maybe four days. Huh? Hadn't planned on that. It ended up that she needed it. She still has the 6 inch scar along her mid-section. Ouch. Sitting up was very hard for her for about a month after the surgery.

In the end, the doc removed almost all of the endo in Angie. To get it all, he would have most likely needed to remove her womb. He did take one ovary and fallopian tube, and about 30% of the other ovary. The hope is, that someday, with treatment, she still could conceive. The short-term solution is to get her pregnant through a donated embryo, which should 'reset' her system. For now, she is one hormone suppressants.

All of this put a damper on adoption for a few months as we reconnected and vacationed over the summer. We're getting into high gear again, getting paperwork ready for our homestudy. Fun. Lots of intrusive questions that biological parents don't have to answer about childhood, and how you were raised, and stressful situations you've gone through. The unexamined life is not worth living? Socrates was a jerk.